Merry merry Christmas & a Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas & a Happy 2010 to all!!!

Thanks to all my friends and colleagues for all these gifts..i love all of them! =D

This is something different this year!

Thou i didt been very good or nice this year, I had still make a few wishes...i hope Santa get them and make them come true! =x and it goes to everyone, i hope u had ur wish come true as well!

I'll be back for more..updates from my bdae to christmas to new year! i m sorry for not updating fast enough...i haven been wanting to online nowadays...comp seems to play a part in everyone's life and i m trying to get away from tat! humpz! =x

Many Happy days!

I got so many so many wanna share w everyone...but i nv seems to have enough time...oppz
but i will slowly slowly update one by one, thou by the time i update it may b things that happen ages ago...=x

I guess on top of the list, i wanna say a BIG thank you to all! Give mi awhile more, i will write down all of ur de...hehez Thank you for making my 20th such a memorable one...Thank you =D wait for my update on my birthday ^^

N this yr, i celebrated halloween twice!

1) Halloween Night @ NIGHT SAFARI!!! hehez one week b4 halloween, mi, huisan & daphne decided to take a little trip down to night safari and have a different experience of halloween..I can say its reli a very different feel but mayb a little similar to our camp nightwalk..the 3 of us still keep saying abt their props, make-up etc..all link back to camp! haha Their "ghosts" & props & all the effects are reli reli "well-done"! Check out our FB for more infor ba..coz all i rmb was mi kena "combo hit"!!! I bet the "ghosts" there enjoy having mi there! Daphne was de bravest as usual...

2) Halloween Party @ St james!!! Yupz, i went clubbing on halloween night! It was a great one! i met new frenz, saw all those dress-up "ghosts" and have a great time chit-chatting and of coz dancing! heez i think the very nxt day, my leg feel so dead from the few hours of dancing! n i make a deal w Seowhui, if ever we have another chance to attend such party, we will dress up too! =)

Smile for a better day!

I wanna say thank you to all of them...they simply jus make mi happy in their very own ways...its amazing how much one can do or how little actually is tat things tat make another smile =)

Also, i reli pray for my student to be able to score just nice enough to get into a good secondary school...hav been teaching her for nearly 6mths..n i guess i m proud of her!

here's de difficult maths qns tat everyone is talking abt:

Jim buy some sweets and give half to Ken. Ken bought some chocolates and give half to Jim. If Jim ate 12 sweets & Ken ate 18 chocolates, the ratio of Jim's sweet to chocolate is 1:7 and the ratio of Ken's sweet to chocolate is 1:4. So how many SWEETS did Jim buy?

haha thanks to someone, i knew how to solve this qns in less den 3mins! n credit to one of my colleagues for saying " sweets and chocolates are suppose to let us happy n not stressing us! sweets & chocolates r food n not maths!"...wahaha it makes everyone laugh!

sorry, thank you.

For no reason, but i wanna said, Life's Fragile...

Dont ask me.
for so long, time didt faded all those away...
n for tat, i m so angry w myself...

sorry. yet thank you.

Friends. they make a big difference. =)

Scary scary day...

Omg! Today was a bad bad day...or should i say, i had "a different experience" todae!

Jus as i was abt to leave my office, one of my colleagues run towards mi n ask " is the floor shaking?". for tat moment, i was like "huh" have mehz? n the very nxt moment, i start moving left n right and i felt super giddy! n everyone in de office felt the tremors! It wasnt long b4 a commotion start in the office...Best part: EVERYONE, reli is everyone including my boss, start packing up...my colleague grab my hand and we ran off to the lift. (not suppose to take the life, but my office is on level 13! so we took the lift anyway) haha Inside the life, she turn to mi n say " will the building collaspe? i din know i will die in de office w u!" Lost for awhile, b4 i answered her, " wont la".." we still got alot of things haven do yet lehz" she continued...n the lift is packed! it was damn funny now as i think back, but at that very moment, we were reli scare! Best Scene: below all buildings in raffles place!!! It was de first time seeing so many ppl standing under the building looking up! i guess this time is more serious? coz even my mum felt it at home!

n tat wasnt all...shock no 2:
after i ended my lesson, on de way home, i felt someone following mi...but i didt care much until i reached the lift lobby of my flat...i turn behind n saw a man standing a distance away from mi..(i guess he didt had enough time to hide as he was standing near to the pillars) n after he realise i saw him, he smile at me n he holds his phone in the direction of where i m...i was super scare tat i keep my eyes on him n rush into the lift immediately...i shout for my mum even b4 i reach de door, coz my hands r shaking...(i was afraid tat he followed mi up) lucky, my brother came home right after me...n he too, saw tat weird man following me..OMG!

I think my heart almost stop pumping todae ba... =Z

when its time to slow down...

Firstly, let mi wish a Very Happy 21st Birthday to Alex & a Happy 20th Birthday to Angela!

yupz, jus like the usual 21st, they held a celebration on sat night at Alex's condo function. thanks for inviting thou i didt help out much...coz i attended CSCC connection camp!!! sorry guys for not joining in for the post-party party, i was too tired...

it was amazing when we look back at the no. of yrs of camps we had attended...scary thou coz it means tat we r growing old! had fun joining in for block catching & battle royal, slping in slping bag once again n many more...we walked down the same road which once my batch chat n sing happily in the night of every camp!!! many many more memories...which i guess mi n huisan enjoy bringing them back...=)and tata! did i say i m tired =X i catch 2 movies on the very day! The Ugly Truth & Fame! niceeee =)

gonna plan for a short break soon...for all the fight tat i fight thru, its time to give myself a good break!

Things in life...

Someone send mi this which i think is quite meaningful to share:

A Story to live by

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'

One day,someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages
came off, she was able to see everything, including her
boyfriend.

He asked her, 'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The
girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The
sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected
that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life
led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her
saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before
they were yours, they were mine.'

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.
Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who
was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life Is a Gift

when things take for a change...

Yuppie! i m online on a wed night tats jus so going to make mi fall aslp in de office tml! haha but so be it! Things are changing every moment..we nv know wat our future holds n we nv will..

Some over-dated photos:

Woooo...first time trying this..POWER! normally de fish spa will b smaller fish but tat day we tried BIG fish! its reli big, hui describe it's size as the fish we cook n eat at home!!! can u imagine, n they come in groups!!! i think u can hear my laughter miles away! haha try it if u dun believe mi! =D

P.S: Happy Birthday to those September babies!!! who are Benjamin, Kaiwen, XinNi, YongSim, ShuTing, Yuping, XueLi, ShueJun, MeiFang, Angela & Alex!!!


at the end of the day, i hope its =) ...

maybe fated...

Recently, i have been very busy w almost everything...work r piling up like mad and yes, work never end! n all my students r going to face their major exam soon...so there i m struck! i enjoy work, i enjoy teaching too n i wanna study..where should i go???


anw i tt my ds spoilt but it came back into life again...maybe its fated...
one by one, they r going to "rip"...fated...
fate...=)
i hav my darling to thank...for all this little bits of care, they make a big love!

many many celebrations...

Firstly, let mi wish all teachers, a very

Happy TEACHERS DAY!!!

n of coz to myself too!!!

heez for teachers day, we have to thanks our teachers...from kindergarden to pri sch to sec sch to poly, i hav countless num of teachers teaching mi countless num of subjects/modules...i have all of them to thank for the mi todae! true saying, i hav been closest to my sec sch teachers n i miss those times...hope there will b chance to see them again! so here i would like to say Thank you to all my teachers/lecturers!


n of coz i need to thanks Xavier, Zhenghao & Hweesan for the sweet and wonderful presents n the "Happy Teachers Day"! they reli make my day! smile smile =) haha lets wait n see their results...*shake head*

And alots of bdae going on:

Happy Birthday to
Jessilyn, Alvin Chong, SiLing, HuiLin, Felicia, Julia, Melissa Chew & Li Xuan!

Happy 21st Birthday to my 2 dearest friend!!!
HUISAN & BEN!!!
had a great time surprising ben & a great time "planning" huisan's party!

N many many more coming...

wat's wrong???

Something's wrong w my internet access i guess..for the past week, i cant log on to my email, fb, blog n many others...till nw, its still lagging...so if wanna find mi, msg mi will b a quicker choice! =)

anw many many outdated things waiting for mi to update...

1) National Day - Is a red red day, pampered day n of coz a fun day...n i manage to catch the wonderful fireworks once again...upload de video when i got the chance...n i m very sorry for not going last min...sorry darling...

2) Meet up w ah dia n wenwen! went movie-ing w them...so many movies to catch recently! UP was the movie i watch w them n its was funny! NICE!

3) Shopping Shopping n more Shopping - i think i have been going on shopping spree recently...on n off i guess coz i dun reli rmb much le..haha

4) Night @ Powerhouse! haha it was a "event-changing" night tat day...suppose to go butter but due to long queue we change our location to St James...n lucky us! i saw zq, jj n kevin there! thanks for the great fun! coz tat was a good timing of "coincidence"...b4 tat its jus smoking n flirting...so not us! n yup, i m tempted to try but i didt...mayb jus a try someday? =x

5) Work & tuition continues as normal...

lastly, someone gave mi a song , 21 guns...i listen n read thru the lyrics...somehow it make sense to mi..but on de other hand, i dunno how i reli felt...i m still trying to figure it out as well...hugs n thanks a million lots! for u know who u r =)

Happy National Day!

Happy 44th bdae to Singapore!

I went ndp w hui last sat...thanks hui for the tix...this yr the parade was much more special n interesting...first, they have story line..second which is also my best part is tat they have a sudden "terrorists" attack action...i laugh so loudly at the person who jumped n got scared by the "bomb"..but in de end, i "jump" when the 2nd one came unprepared...the army performance both on land n sea was fantistic! then, the story goes on...finally, also my favourite, is the Fireworks!!! YEAH!

Also, Happy Birthday to many many august babies! too many to name..so best wishes to all!

Todae...my batch ppl came over to my house for steamboat n gathering!!! we met up at the train station, get our ingredients n tata! preparation start the moment we got back at my house! it was a nice n heartwarming get-together...we eat n eat like crazy n we r proud to have finish up all the foods! we played twisters n this card game! lots n lots of fun! photos to b upload by daphne! simply love them! nxt up would b Huisi house! Huisi, we r going to DESTROY ur house!!!

someone told mi this...

有一只小鸡破壳而出的时候，刚好有一只乌龟经过，从此以后小鸡就背着蛋壳过了一生！
棗其实脱离沉重的负荷很简单，放弃固执和成见就行了。

有个小弟在脚踏车店当学徒。有人送来一部坏了的脚踏车，小弟除了将车修好，还把车子擦拭得漂亮如新，其他学徒笑他多此一举。车主将脚踏车领回去的第二天，小弟被挖到他的公司上班。
棗原来出人头地很简单，吃点亏就行了。

有头小猪向神请求做他的门徒，神欣然答应。这时刚好有一头小牛由泥沼里爬出来，浑身都是泥。神对小猪说："去帮他洗洗身子吧！"小猪诧异的说"我是神的门徒，怎么能去伺候那脏兮兮的小牛呢？"神说"你不去伺候别人，别人怎么知道你是我的门徒呢？"
棗原来要变成神很简单，只要真心付出就行了。

有几个小孩很想当天使，上帝给他们一人一个烛台，叫他们保持烛台光亮。结果几天过去了，上帝都没来，几乎所有的小孩都不再擦拭那烛台，有一天上帝突然造访，他们每个人的烛台都蒙上了厚厚的灰尘。只有一个小孩大家都叫他笨小孩，因为上帝没来，他也每天都擦拭，结果这个笨小孩成了天使。
棗其实当天使很简单，只要实实在在去做就行了。

有个小孩对母亲说："妈妈，你今天好漂亮。" 母亲问："为什么?" 小孩说："因为妈妈今天没有生气。"
棗原来要拥有漂亮很简单，只要不生气就行了。

有个牧场主人，叫他孩子每天在牧场辛勤工作，朋友对他说："你不需要让孩子如此辛苦，农作物一样会长得很好的。"牧场主人回答说："我不是在培养农作物，我是在培养我的孩子。"
棗原来培养孩子很简单，让他吃点苦头就行了。

有一个网球教练对学生说："如果一个网球掉进草堆，应该如何找？"有人说"从草堆中心线开始找。"有人说"从草堆的最凹处开始找。"教练说"按部就班地从草地的一头，搜寻到草地的另一头。"
棗原来寻找成功的方法很简单，从一数到十不要跳过就行了。

有一家商店经常灯火通明，有人问："你们店里用的是什么灯管？那么耐用？"店主回答说："我们的灯管也常常坏，只要常常更换就行了！"
棗原来保持明亮的方法很简单，只要常常更换就行了。

住在田里的青蛙："你这里太危险了，搬来和我住吧。"路边的青蛙说："我已经习惯了，懒得搬了。"几天后，田里的青蛙去探望路边的青蛙，却发现他已经被车子轧死，暴尸在路边。
棗原来掌握命运的方法很简单，远离懒惰就行了。

有一个人去应征工作，随手将走廊上的纸片捡起来，放进了垃圾桶，被路过的考官看到了，他因此得到了这份工作。
棗原来获得赏识很简单，养成好习惯就行了。

有一支淘金队伍在沙漠中行走，大家都步履沉重，痛苦不堪，只有一个人快乐的走着。别人问："你为何如此的惬意？"他笑着说："因为我带的东西最少。"
棗原来快乐很简单，拥有少一点就行了。

人生的光彩在哪里？ 早上醒来，光彩在脸上，充满笑容地迎接未来； 到了中午，光彩在腰上，挺直腰杆活在当下； 到了晚上，光彩在脚上，脚踏实地地做好自己。
棗原来人生也很简单，只要懂得知足、自然，你就拥有了生命的光彩。

Life before death = Journey...

yupz..i kw I cried hard w her in e show…coz I knew de pain of it…

As I tt I m numb, I realize I didt…
Is a battle btw my heart n mind…
wat a weak soul…

怎样的雨 怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大 天要多黑
才能够有你的体贴
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBGyF11fOnA

Happy 20th Birthday Seowhui!!!

Yes!!! my 8yrs besties turn 20 jus 24 hours ago!!!

Happy Birthday!!!

hope happiness, joy n love r always by ur side!!! =D

We bought her to a restuarant called 15 minutes on tues where we had our dinner there...we r so filled w artistic after dining at the place...haha if u wan to kw y, go to the restuarant...after tat, we decided to go to Coffee Nations to chill...such a nice place, where we had so much laughter n "intelligent" games...hope u like the celebration hui!!! ~we r still as crazy as ever~

Other den tat, de rest of the week jiu is work n tuition...cant wait for weekends!!! =D

n i think i forget to mention:

Cristiano Ronaldo is no longer a player of Man-u!!! good or bad lehz?
n i know tat happen a few weeks ago, forgive mi for the slow reaction...

its weekend again!!!

Yupz..its time for mi to enjoy again...
but i m guilty of not being at home w my family as well... =x

I start to get real busy @ work alrdy...i haven manage to finish any work b4 dateline! oppz...i wonder if i m going to get fired soon! haha n i wanna get ppl in to work as well...coz 1)many of my frenz r still looking for a job, 2) w frenz ard, i got more ppl to talk to...haha office become a little bit chatty w mi ard! i think they knew it on de first day i m there...=x n its reli tough to juggle btw work n tuition...luckily my kids r still as cute, thou they do make mi very angry at times...

little things in life...how often do we even rmb them? I dont...mayb until i lost it...
my little kid bought mi back to see those little things tat i overlooked for quite sometimes...
things tat u wont tt it matters at all...things tat somehow ppl take it for granted...
i wish i can become little again...

todae was a shopping day! n i finally get to meet up w my darling! do take good care, for she looked reli tired...Still, i had a great day, chitting w u makes my day, watsmore when we saw de "heart-shaped" fireworks tgt!!! =D

ard the world in one day!

Yeah..ytd thanks to my dear gal, angela, i got to visit a number of singapore attractions! actually, not alot also..we went to Asian Civilsation Museum & Mint Toys Museum onli...Toys museum! We (mi, angela, sihao n xinyi) became little children the moment we stepped into the museum...running, playing n jumping at the scene of those toys n decor...both of the museum r awesome!!! Did lots of phototaking n shall wait n let all those photos do the talking! heez =D

the best part of the day:

The Rain!
i kw its abit mafan n cui to b under e rain..but i feel as if i hav nth to worry, nth to bother, nth to think abt when i m under de rain...erm, this feeling is jus like "little children"...like those days when we were young...

Actually wanna take the flyer ride, but coz of the rain, we ended up at the arcade...=) didt manage to go to the national museum as well..next time! =D

=)

Finally, able to use internet again! my office internet is block..so no msn-ing, facebook-ing n net surfing during work..n u will see alot of them start using their phones, ipod etc to surf de internet..well, i dun hav one so i hav to wait till i m home to online!

anyway, work was ok so far..it jus keep mi very busy...still trying to cope w it n still making new frenz..they r all surprise tat i m so young..of which i didt kw to b happy or sad...but most of them r nice in terms of "out of office", during work-the ppl there r super serious n its kind of stress & scary...

yup..it was jus a small action, but u didt kw how great it was to mi...=D

time n galfrenz will fade everything...i so love this sentence!

Fireworks!

Went back for Cs agm on fri after work! heez after working, u will realise tat weekends r very impt...anw had a fun chit-chatting session w my batch ppl again at the agm...we even went back to club to take a look while they r having their "catching"...We went for dinner tgt at our old "la-teh" place...haha n jun wei did some stunts! Lol...wait till i upload the photos! anw after tat, i rush home to bath n met up w hui for club...was a last min thing n tat night was horrible...i guess all of us got drunk or semi-drunk!

anw i saw FIREWORKS!!! super clear view from my ROOM! hooray!!! i guess de fireworks was for the NDP preview thingy...i was so surprise! n my mum n mi got so excited! its a good view, clear n not blocked! the fireworks jus make my day! =D

The view from my room!!! hooray! i guess i m lucky tat day!

Ps, i m not a good photographer...=X

tuition..anyone???

Hey ppl,

as i got no time to ask ard, so i decided to ask over here...

I got a tuition assignment @ Jurong area..Pri 4, jus need to teach english and Math...anyone interested???

Msg mi ASAP!!! best b4 tml 7pm...

Sick...

i m starting work tml...but...

illness could u stay away from mi for awhile first...
let mi get all my things done first...
pls...

A fresh start...

I am going to start work this coming wed!!! as a Associate, Customer Service @ Great Eastern...dont ask mi wat is it...i myself also not very sure...oppz...i m so excited yet scare abt it!

Pray hard for mi tat everything will be good k? i hope i will be able to learn n produce good work, i hope its a friendly environmeny & i hope tat i will enjoy myself there! i also wonder if there will be any ppl ard my age there...i went there twice, once for the interview, another for the contract signing, n all i see r ppl ard the age of late 20s to 30s...cant believe tat i m actually stepping into the workforce in 1 day time!

But something to worry abt...currently, i got tuition on mon, wed, thurs, fri n sun!!! n i cant drop them for now..to think, its good to be able to be busy n earn lots of money! but i also wonder if my body could take all this...i hav to rush back for tuition straight after work n wat if i need to OT??? i didt kw wat to do for nw...lets see how for the time being ba! one thing for sure, my schedule will be super packed, w all the working, tutoring, gathering n partying!!! =X

The orange tunnel...

Nobody knew but him tat tats was my favourite place...i went thru it again tat night, n i still love tat place...

Meet up w xiaohua, seowhui n angela on thurs to celebrate Hua's 22nd bdae! We went timbre again...i love their live bands & pizzas...n i got my way right this time! i m happy for not losing my way... =X after tat, we met up w alex n his frenz n went to Zirca...club, drink & dance! n i realise, its nice to have bdae celebrations at club...anw the rest jiu leave it till i got the photos n let them do the talking!

Fri-- my little kid got a little request...he wanted a blue lollipop...heez had my tuition w this cute little boy b4 i went over to celebrate Joycelyn's 20th Bdae! We had a buffet at Quality Hotel..sounds class rite? haha anw had lots of fun & took lots of pictures...shall upload them soon, b4 they say i slow! haha Happy Advance 20th Birthday Joy! stay more glam..haha n of coz i didt forget the long chat i had w my darling...i love her!

Today i met up w angela at sun plaza, got the ingredients tat we needed n we went back to her house...we r preparing for our picnic! yummy yummy! Reached Marina Barrage abt 6pm, went to walk ard b4 settling down...n Yeah! i fly a kite! didt fly well thou but i m still happy abt it! A gal in front of us said to her father "daddy, did u see tat MINI kite?" Lol yes! my little kite! haha today, the sky is filled up w clear white clouds n many colourful kites! the wind is blowing gently, trying to ensure tat every kites can catch up w the pace...everything is so nice so prefect i tt...its a beautiful day! =D

Wondering...

I have my schedule all packed..i should said i had planned all the activities way b4 hand...mayb i m free coz i m not working, but i dont seem to be free...how come??? but go ahead n date mi! =D

someone told mi: " take things one at a time now...i kw it sounds trite, but just wake up in the morning and tell urself that u only have to be strong for one day. Just one day. N u did tat over n over again......"

i tt mayb tt would help a little...thanks anw...

anyway, Happy 22nd Birthday XiaoHua!!!

Happy Father's Day!!!

I went back to malaysia to rest & relax for the past few days... =)

Guess wat! i tried riding a motorbike!!! it was damn cool! at first, my cousin bring me out for a ride...it was fun till some irritating guys rode beside us n disturb! i think those who saw it, kw how scared i m den...we didt realise or even kw tat 2 bikes r following us until one of the 3 boys tried to pull mi off the bike! scary rite? i think i did scream abit but mostly laughing...coz my cousin rode so fast to escape away from them! yet the thoughts of them kipnapping us didt appeared in my mind at tat moment...but we r alright! n we didt dare to mention anything in front of our parents...shhh...my cousin ltr decide to teach mi how to ride...so i took over the driver seats! it was damn scary! but of coz fun n cool!!! i nw kw why so many ppl enjoy riding a bike at high speed! dangerous but nice! n i love it when the wind blow pass mi...anw the bike is auto so it wasnt difficult to learn... =D

Some photos to share:

my cute little cousin! did alot of phototaking w her..its all on fb... =)

her trying to carry a newborn baby...she always try to act like us (adults)...
All cousins!!!

Today! I went for my tuition this afternoon...taught 2 todae n i end at 7pm...den i hav to rush home again! coz i m cooking again for my daddy!!! but its a late dinner...oppz but hai hao i long prepare the ingredients properly b4 i went for my tuition...cook cook cook...n ta-ta!!! Dinner's ready! i saw the smile on everyone face...i kw they had a long wait...coz its alrdy 9pm! We had curry fish head, King of the pork n KangKong! all my daddy's favourite!

Happy Father's Day!!!

i love my daddy!!!

Ouch ouch ouch!!!

Ouch!

Someone left mi a painful cut ytd when i went swimming...
well, the pool is so crowded coz its school holiday... =X

Happy 21st Birthday Daphne!!!

its hard but i will/ m trying even harder...
i slow down a little...to think to wonder...
jus let it b...

The heart has its reasons which reason does not know.
~B. Pascal

updates!!!

I have been busy with gathering this weeks! its fantastic!

Mon, met up w my batch ppl for dinner at the hereen...why? coz our dear wilson and ben are enlisting this week...anw they r in alrdy...w sengyang and a few more...good luck guys! jia you as well! We ate thai express and went to the alps to chill after dinner...had a nice time w them...more catch up next time... =)

Tue is a day fill w music!!! i went singing w wilson, jane n huisan...lots n lots of unglam moments...too bad there's no camera to capture all tat! we eat like nobody business, sing like nobody cares n chat like we nv chat b4! they r simply wonderful! after kbox, i met hui for dinner at timbre! yupz, jus the 2 of us...for some er ren shi jie! haha the band tat day was amazing...it was cool! we had pizzas and we DIDT drink! anyway, we dont drink often...well, i dont...jus some time for the fun out of it..i am sure a good gal... =X

Wed...i went for 2 interviews! so scary...but i didt like both the job...so yupz, i m continuing searching...looking for a job i reli like n enjoy it! i believe i can find such job rite? haha then, i went off to meet xueli, shuting n huisan for dinner!!! it been ages since i met up w xl n st le...heez went for dinner at waraku...guess wat! i saw Vanny! so long since i met him...wonder how's his planning le...hehez den the 4 of us went to TCC to chill...chit-chatting, listening to xl's story and taking pictures! all photos are uploaded in fb...

Thurs was my day w the little boy again...he's cute but jus like little children, they cant seem to stop playing, running etc...but since its their holiday, less work for him! shall find out wat he like to bribe him..he doesnt like sweets...anw went to watch movie after tat! blood the vampire...

Fri, another out w my dearest hui n anglea...met alex first b4 i meet up de rest...n guess wat, i was running at city hall area! coz my dear angela fainted at her workplace! so mi n alex rush down to "save" her! she was alright when we reached...but gal, pls take care of urself...i kw "cpr" worz...hehez

Tml! Its daphne 21st bdae celebrations!!! shall update again... =D

what's hangover???

I went cycling again!!! did anyone know i jus pick up cycling like last yr! n i m enjoying it! this time i went w my darling n wilson...milk wasnt there...so sad..haha anw we cycled de same route, from ecp to changi jetty n this time round something special...we cycled till the SAF ferry terminal! we even saw parents and frenz coming out from there, which means a new batch of boys booked in tat day...wilson is going there on de coming thurs le...take care bro! after tat, i rush home coz i got tuition...was abit late but its ok...

On fri night, i met up w seowhui after her work...n i m not late! haha instead someone is super late! oppz...we had our dinner at Swensens, suntec city...n now they got a few new courses...i like it! youwei came to join us for dinner as well...after dinner, met up w raymond n we went to the arcade...

den we went to double o! my first time there...drank quite abit n dance till de fullest! oh, xinyan joined us at dblo too! i even saw calvin there...i heard he is booking in nxt week too...haha anyway, i must say raymond, youwei, xinyan n seowhui are good clubbing bubby...had so much of fun n now everyone know my favourite songs!!! oppz...after club, even greater, we went for supper at the prata house! hooray! but i was alrdy spinning...so didt reli enjoy my prata...i vomited de moment i alighted from de cab...hangover...but it was ok...

Jus a photo to share...wasnt successful w photo-taking...

randomsss...

I saw my new baby cousin! it's a girl... =D
everyone's so joyful!
there's one more coming in 2 months time!

how amazing time flies...

i convinced myself to believe:
for when there r things taken away from us, there will be things given to us too...
i will b waiting...for a new start, new story, a new mi...

but for now, can i jus dig a hole n hide all those feelings inside until i feel alright to take it out?
mayb i m alrdy doing it...jus dun let de hole get bigger...
i m struggling w my thoughts & feeling...its something tat i feel i never know wat to do...
i wan to be happy...

Post Graduation Celebration!

It was a long long day of activities for mi...

On wed night, it was de post-graduation celebration for mi n jane...tgt w seowhui, jane's bro n his frenz, we went for mambo night! haha so long since i club...met up w dionna first, den hui for dinner, met up w jane at the esplanade (wat a place =( ), b4 jane's bro pick us up to zouk! n ya, went to look for wilson n played w his dog, Milk!! actually the real name of the dog is not milk, but milk is a nice name for his dog! J will b so happy to see this!! m i right? haha mambo night was alright, not fantastic but nice enough...i think jane, hui n mi went crazy n super high somehow...didt manage to drink much bcoz i dun wanna wash car! haha truth is i m jus not good at drinking! argh! We left jane, her bro n frenz at ard 2 plus for soccer! my favourite player (hui's lao gong) is playing for that match! So we ended up at Chijmes, met up w raymond & his classmates to watch the match --Man U vs Barcelona...so glad tat all of them r Man U fans too! but Man U lost...still, its a interesting match w so many ppl ard...so many ppl screaming, supporting their team n putting on their fav teams jersey...den at 5am, it was home sweet home...

woke up early the nxt morning as i need to go bai bai for this dumpling festival thingy...i was so tired n sleepy tat i didt kw wats going on the whole morning..jus help out n do watever i m told to..oppz...after tat, my aunt bought us for afternoon tea...i miss those high tea i had in melbourne! no hot chocolate thou...manage to catch some slp b4 i went off for my tuition! tat little boy is super happy todae, coz tml is his last day of school! he smile so brightly when he told mi tat he is having a holiday! how good it is to b able to jus smile n feel happy from the bottom of ur heart rite? anw wanna meet up w the rest after my tuition, but i m too tired..sorry guys...need to catch some rest n save my energy for tml! haha

some photos b4 i go off...

Graduation!!


My Family!!!


My classmates!!!


CSCC peers!!!

i love this photo! nice cloudy background rite?

Also, Happy Birthday Youwei!!! i have alrdy lost count of ur age..oppz...stay young anw!

tata..tats all for nw...

i hope i will have a good sleep tonight =D

i guess i wanted to move on...but i do get struck here n there...

that feeling is weird...

sometime sweet, sometime bitter...

sometimes is bearable, but sometimes not...

so many thoughts...for jus a...

if he's doing fine? is he happy?

have de ans, n i will b fine?

anyway, i hope hui could move on too...i know she will, better den i do...

My Graduation!!!

Jus nw at 530pm was my graduation ceremony!!!

Diploma in Tourism & Resort Management!!

Yeah!! i am a offical diploma holder le!!! thou no merit or awards, i should b proud of myself..afterall is not a easy course to get into!! haha ask ard, see how many ppl couldnt get in.. =X

its a hard but sweet 3 years in poly...

first, my class- DTRM 03...when i knew i get into this class, i m excited!! coz i got friends i alrdy kw from workplace- Jesslyn & Diana!! n more surprising is SiLing!! i met her at the clinic when we did the check-up!! n tats 3 yrs ago...Wow wow wow!! my class is so special as we onli hav 2 guys in our class!! den in yr 2, it left w the one & only one after another one drop out...i guess he (ZhuanKai) must be happy now, coz he is free from the rest of the 18 girls!!! its a very memorable 3 yrs spend w my class...still rmb the days where we chiong for projects, fight to meet dateline, trying hard to understand our lecturers n many many more!!! thanks alot to dtrm 03 for that wonderful memories!!! lets keep in contact ok? to my clique: lets meet up soon ok?

Next, is Cscc peers...quite a number of us were at the same time slot jus nw...got yiwen, yinzi, huisan, jane, kelvin, junwei, junsheng, hweekiat n mi!! joycelyn, daphne n wilson came to join us as well!! haha i must say, life in poly have been interesting w these ppl ard!! jus like tat, we had spend 3 yrs camping, attending events, doing CS, nua-ing in club together!! cant believe time past tat fast!! they make my life in poly brighter n more exciting!!! stay in contact too ok? for those boys, jia you for NS!! heez n most impt, special thanks to my darling n huisan!! they bought mi flowers!!! so sweet of them..xie xie ni men =D

not forgetting my FAMILY!!! thank you mummy, daddy n brother for coming down todae...they must b very bored inside the convention centre...but yup!! i m sure they r so proud of mi!! i didt waste their effort n money to send mi to study in poly!! big hug to u all!!! muacks!!

den is angela, seowhui n xiaohua!! haha they r my best friends forever!! thank you so much for waiting for mi, taking photos for mi n attending my graduation!! had a wonderful time w u guys tonight!! look forward to our oversea trip!!! cheers!!! millions of thanks! n creadit to hui for the flowers too!!

finally, i wanna thanks him too...afterall, some of the credits should go to him...he was there w mi for most of my life in poly...still rmb those days where we study, camp, play, rot/nua n date tgt..all this had accompany thru my poly life n i m glad tat i have all this memories!! =D life hav been beautiful w u ard for this 2 & a half yrs...hope i did u proud as well...coz part of the effort goes to u! a big thank you! still abit disappointed for not receiving ur msg...but i kw its different nw...

shall end here, after all the thank yous...will update the photos soon!! =D

Happy birthday to Weien n Junwei!!!

Happy 21st Birthday Weien!!!

On fri, i met the rest of the "unemployed" at tampines to go to weien's bdae chalet...haha the rest meet up at a later timing after their work...his chalet is near changi village n its wulu..heez we took a bus from the interchange n we even miss our stop!! its reli wulu but the scenery there is nice!! even better for couples...n we have a few more couples from club!!

anyway, the chalet there is big!! we hang ard chit-chatting while waiting for the rest n de foods!! n we gossip like as usual!!! oppz...everyone become so kpo when melissa's bf came to fetch her...haha den was huisan's bf as well...had a good chat w everyone but the bdae boy..he is so busy preparing n entertaining everyone...we stay overnight at the chalet, one by one fall aslp except mi, wilson, crystal n chongyan...haha the 2 of them went "LM" for the whole night!! haha honeymoon period is sweet... mi n wilson walked to changi v and the changi jetty, had our supper cum breakfast b4 the rest start waking up...den i went for breakfast again!! had the red tea jelly dessert...heez (onli he will know)...we left the chalet at ard 1pm plus..thanks jun wei for dropping us at the mrt!! Happy 20th birthday to u too!!! =D

That's the front gate of the chalet...

Amazingly the view there is fantastic!!!

I reach home at abt 2pm plus and den was Zzz time!! i was suppose to meet hui for drinking but i m sorry hui..i woke up close to 9pm!!! wanted to go n join them as well, but i dont feel good..so decided to stay at home n rest..i will join u guys another time if there is any k? meanwhile, yup, i will train up my drinking skill!!!

Sunday was a family day!! we went for dim sum breakfast tgt...i can say my parents are reli cute!! a bit heavy to use on them but they make mi n my bro laugh till our stomach crump!! heez den dad bought us to the mandai columbarium to bai ji my grandparents...everyone miss them...hope they r fine over at another side of the world...

After tat, bcoz its still early, we force daddy to drive us ard..he bought us the the upper seletar reservoir, seletar reservoir n a few more which i dun rmb the road name...heez i wonder how i m going to drive ard when i got my licence!!! heez a nice day out w my family!!! =D

Monkeys!! we saw lots of monkeys in a of the reservoir...n we saw ppl feeding them!! aiyoyo...

pass by his camp on fri...lots of memories reappeared in my heart...commando...how many sweat n pain he went thru in there, how many parades i had attended, n many many more good memories...above all, nth beat how proud i m for him...i hav always n still been proud of him...for awhile, i feel like crying...my heart ache harder n its bitter...but as i think back, i wanna smile...
i m glad tat he is doing fine now...deep inside, i wanna wish him-all e best...

我在搞笑藉着热闹掩盖着心跳
边哭边笑偏要说着一个人真好
当人群散了突然觉得我可以死掉我受不了
还在搞笑害怕回家不知怎麽熬
这麽多年早就习惯有你的撒娇
我想我能熬但是至少要让我知道你好不好

我在搞笑藉着热闹掩盖着心跳
边哭边笑偏要说着一个人真好
当人群散了突然觉得我可以死掉我受不了
我在搞笑却在醉后眼泪拼命飙
你的离开失去多少我计算不了
忙完了一天突然觉得又何必辛劳对谁炫耀
还在搞笑是否拥有麻痹的疗效
唱一夜歌却避不开催泪的曲调
我彻夜胡闹希望听到有人会提到你好不好

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqtZGKA9Y8g

Hui's Graduation!!!

Congratulations to Low Seowhui!!!

She is a offical diploma holder le...watmore she got diploma w merit!!! wow!! =D
everyone is so proud of her!! Great job hui!! jus a pity tat both of us r not in de same school...
mi n anglea went early to sit in as her "parents" but after tat her parents came to take photos w her...first time we travel down to TP...but we still love SP... =D

i believe she smile...from the bottom of her heart...

Thanks to hui n angela, they bought mi to the new tampines 1 mall...feel so like the little green frog in the well..oppz...there are alot of interesting shops, new shops n alot of jap restuarants!! they promise to bring mi there to eat soon...hui got us flowers too!!! millions of thanks to hui!!! =D

Hua wasnt able to join us there as she got work...but we met up after tat for dinner n drinking...actually suppose to b a surprise for hui, but silly mi, say it out jus like tat..argh!! no more fun!! anyway, we got lost!! i didt know the way to timbre @ substation...i hav been there b4, n i like it...but i couldnt find the way there!!! so sorry hui...in the end, we found our way to timbre @ the art house...it was cool...the band was nice, singing songs tat melted my heart...thou i think i still prefer the substation one...oppz...we had pizzas, some snacks n drink alot...after some time, alex n his army frenz came to join us...haha had some fun n we went off soon for another place...

Hua has to leave first as she is working todae...the rest of us?? alex n his frenz got off whereas angela n hui took off...tats y nobody wanna go home so early...we ended up at a retro bar call "Yello Jello"...it was almost empty inside...on a tue night...expected rite? haha we had more drinking...n we played "cai quan", in the end i drank more...to the certain tat my head is spinning...but thanks to alex frenz n angela, they drink my share when i lose...oppz i wasnt good at drinking, didt like the bitter taste n i got drunk easily...but i m determine to go for more... =) need some training rite? heez

Congrats to the 4 of us!!! we r now diploma holder!!! n mayb degree holder in a few yrs time!!! jia yous!!! love u guys!!!

Huihui!! congrats for getting diploma w merit!! we r so proud of u!! n so sorry for being such a sotong...didt mean to say out de...u kw mi ar..haha look forward to my graduation worz!!! =D n lets look forward to the next gathering!!! hohoho...more mario kart, prawning n many many more...=X

Prawning & Picnic!!!

Last fri was a fruitful day for mi!!!

last fri met up w my darling to buy the ingredients for our sandwiches...we r making chicken mayo & egg mayo...so fetch her from yishun bus interchange and we alighted at Sembawang shopping centre...bought her to the water splash park (as usual kena chase out by the security guard), n off we went to giant!!! supermart r always the best place to shop coz its always fill w new n interesting stuffs...yuppie!! also had a long nice chat w her...it feel goods...always glad tat i hav her ard to guide mi thru this period...it must b tough on her as well...n nobody will ever know how much we had put in...but yup, we r getting use to it soon...smile my darling...u will b happy... =D n i forget to mention tat i bought her to the taste of thailand restuarant!!! she love it!!

after tat, went off to meet alex, angela and seowhui...guess wat...i went prawning again!!! haha second time of the week..i hav a group of love-prawning frenz!! n i m glad i hav them...if not jiu no more prawning for mi le...anyone who wanna go prawning can find mi ok? heez mi n hui share a rod, alex n angela share one...n tat day we did something disgusting...we use worms as the bait n the worst thing is we hav to cut the worms into smaller part...hui n angela dun dare to do, so end up mi n alex trying to tear the worms into parts..it was awful!! super disgusting...there's even juices flowing out from the center of the worms!!! but wow!! its reli easier to catch the prawns!!! i think after 3 hours, we got like 60 over prawns!!! haha we cant believe it too!!! cant even imagine how the 4 of us finish up so many prawns...yummy yummy!!! we had fries, chicken wings n satay as well...food n more food!! i hav been eating alot!! abit too much...mayb one day i cant even get out from my house gate!! haha =X

Some photos to share:

Thats de number of prawns we caught!!! we used up 2 bbq pit..

Hui's holding the smaller prawn of the day n i m holding to the biggest prawn if tat day...

my prawning khaki =D
in the process of making chicken mayo...

my darling!!!

On sat, i woke up early to complete the making process of the sandwiches!!! i m trying to get everyone fat!! i use 20 eggs for my egg mayo sandwiches!! haha met up ben n weien at ps to take a bus to Botanic Garden!!! i always wanna go for picnic but nv hav e chance until todae!! =)

luckily the weather was good tat day...didt rain, jus humid n hot...

the picnic was fun!! also a gathering for the yr 3s...there are mi, huisi, yiwen, yinzi, krayon, daphne, joycelyn, kelvin, ben, weien, wilson, junwei, yujiang, kuo qiang...everyone prepared something...there are chicken wings, cakes, agar agar, salads, fruits, bee hoon, hotdogs, fishballs sandwiches and many many more!! we got too much foods!! haha but its fun to jus sit there eating n chit-chatting w them!! =D

so fast, all of us hav alrdy spend like 3 yrs tgt...camps, activities n many more tat we had went thru tgt...haha they r a wonderful group of frenz!!!

*These are the days, my frenz

we know they never end

CSCC the place we want to be

we share our happiness

we'll all work hand in hand

for we are young and sure to hav our way...

we met up at this gate!!

beautiful swans...

look at the amount of food we have!!! so scary!!!

alot of thoughts have been going thru my mind...is it worth it? is it jus mi? did he feel de same as well? i reli wonder if i could get any ans...

ytd...it was once a special day to mi...i tt i smile when i look at our photos taken mayb a few months ago...for a moment, i feel the bitterness overtake mi within that sweet smile..but ytd was a terrible day...for my best frenz at least...my heart ache, for a moment i tt it might jus stop beating...

i cant do much..for i m weak myself...my dear hui, all i can say is u will always mi here, 24/7...afterall i kw it hurts terrible...not tat i can fully understand urs but its tat kind of pain tat make our heart bleed non-stop...cant describe...but i can always lend u my listening ears...jus like u had lend mi urs when i need it...rmb, u can always fall on mi...pour it on mi...i will b there...no matt how strong u r, cried when it come, hide when u wan to...didt i did the same? i got a shoulder here for u, 24/7 too...u will b able to smile soon...let's jia you tgt k? =D

thank you...

i cried...


it hurts more den i could imagine...


but i knew its not a good-bye but a thank you...


thank lots for e memories... =)

A day out...

Wow!! i finally brought my mum to take the Singapore flyer...after so long since i work there..heez went shopping w my mum at marina sq...thou i didt manage to get anything..not in need of anything at the moment..den when we had our lunch at the open space at the food court, we suddenly had the feeling of taking the flyer..so there we go!!! woooo =X

This is a model of the IR...you can onli get to see it when u take the flyer!!!

haha..i guess its another mother's day present for my mum!!! had to thanks weisung & alywn for the help...arigato!!

after tat, my mum went off to meet my aunt for dinner whereas i went off to meet xiaohua and hui!!! so long since we meet up w xiaohua!! must be real proud of her..coz she is a nurse!! i m so afraid of blood...heez we had our dinner at pizza hut and guess wat..we went prawning after tat!!! they knew i often go prawning w him n nw they say they will take over de job...heez thanks guys!! i did had luck tat night but oppz..lack of skill..all my prawns swim away...sobx sobx anyway its fun!!

Right ppl at the right place, right time...

i regretted...
from e moment tat i start reading it, i regretted...
i finished it from the very first to the very last...
i wanted to stop but i didt...
i was trying to prove it wrong...but its more than true after i read...
i m jus the right person, at the right place, at the right timing...
i tt i m blessed but instead i m jus plain naive...
i felt being used...
thou i did hav happy memories...it may all jus be a pile of lies...
lies for so long...yrs...
lies...
for all tat i treasure w every strength of mi..are all lies...
i felt silly...i dun even kw from the start if its true...
i m jus a tree being used to cover another...
i felt hurt, for being used...
i wont to it to anyone...for everyone deserve to be treasure not used...

Happy Mother's Day!!!

To all the mummy :

母亲节快乐！

Happy Mother's Day!

Today was a busy day for mi!!
I woke up late this morning, so my mother's day lunch become dinner...went for tuition in the afternoon, rush home and start preparing my self-make mother's day dinner!!! anyway, i decided to cook for my mum instead of going out to dine as we knew tat todae every restaurants in singapore will be packed..so didt wan to waste time waiting outside...n my mum said, it had been a long time since i cook n she misses it...
So i rush home to prepare after tuition...i start my preparation from 5pm plus and i finishes at ard 8pm!!! haha its long but worth the time and sweat...=D

it's a western style dinner...not veri nice looking but its tasty!!! Very!!! i will let the photos do the talking...

Happy Mother's Day, mummy!!!

Millions of thank you for all the love & care you shower on us...you are always my best mummy!!!

Jack Daniel Global tour...

i went drinking...
for watever reason, i didt kw...
it was terrible...
i tt i can take more...
but it was blackout after tat...
tat feeling was horrible...
i guess its time to improve my drinking...

I went cycling ytd w jane!! once again, i cycled from ecp to changi beach, pass by the aiport runway and back to ecp...wow!! it feels good to be able to tired out myself...whatsmore, i saw a few planes taking off right above mi!!! the sun, the wind, the scenary...everything was reli beautiful...however, bad things do happen...i almost fly off my bike when a lizard ran pass mi at the middle of the road...lucky for mi, i didt injuried much...but my poor jane...she cut her leg when she is making a turn and hit into the pole...funny is, we cant stop laughing at first, coz we didt knew tat the pole can move! hope it wont leave a scar...heez anyway, as usual, we eat after exercising..so sinful but happy!!!

So much of playing...no no...its exercising...haha time for mi to reli look for a job!! reli too boring to jus stay at home and nua...

anyway, i look at his ord photos...so smart, so grand, so amazing...this little parade of theirs, mark the 2 yrs of their sweat and blood...along the way, some fall while some manage to hang on...some tears while some smile...they helped each others thru...they spend their nights in jungle tgt...no matter how tough and hard it is, they all make it...its their day...n i feel so proud of once being part of it...n i believe all those who went thru it de same way as mi, feels de same too...cheers!! for the wonderful 2 yrs in commando!!

Birthday celebrations...

Went for Kian's 21st bdae celebration on sat...Happy 21st Birthday to him!!
actually at first. there's onli mi n huisan...but i guess we r good at self-entertaining...so wasnt a prob afterall...wilson came from baiyu's bdae party at the later timing and everyone is waiting for him to cut cake!!! even greater than de bdae boy sia...but thanks..wilson was there to entertain us for the second half...we chat alot and share alot...den something amazing happen!! JianRong appeared!! is like wow!! mi n huisan was thinking how come tat person look so familar..oppz...but it feel so nice to meet up w them again...i guess i had a good day...=)

Sun afternoon...i had my first tuition w this pri 1 boy...not as scary as i think but alot of patience is needed...Meet up w seowhui and angela for kbox!! finally our singing session...we hav been saying abt it since mayb 1 mth plus ago..but mayb is not de right time to go kbox...i cried a few times when they sang those songs tat bring back memories of us...its ok...i will need some time...things will b better later...n i know in future when i think back...i will smile..coz once in my life, we met each other and we once loved...



一下下

最后一班悬浮火车
满载悬在空气中的不舍
我们却像陌路旅客在月台分开站着毫无牵扯

现在的我能说什么
徘徊你们之间的流浪者
说决定性是给你的却要你给我留下来的许可

我只想再哭一下下
把记忆彻底的分化
等哭完我就会回家
眼泪我会替自己擦

我只想再哭(不爱)一下下
假如你不反对的话
以后我不会再牵挂
可知我有多努力啊
只有这办法 再不再想他

希望你是谅解我的
感动过的痕迹还能割舍
一颗心就要爱你了
暂停一下并不算出尔反尔

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ST2XMZyjgDw

I wish i can be there...

Went out w huisan to search for Kian's present...Jane joined us for awhile b4 she went for work...and she bought us egg tarts!! made by herself..thanks darling!!

Had a great time w huisan todae...had a long chat w her, long walking session and many many silly laughter...We did de most silly & shy things today..omg!! i couldnt believe i did tat!! tats de secret btw de 3 of us!!! shhh...

Anyway, i m going to tutor on sunday!! pray for mi tat the parents wont be tat difficult to handle and i will enjoy it...

I wish i can be there...

I reli hope so...

but i didt...

coz is not u tat wan mi to b there...

n i know i wont be able to take it...

i cant take another round of this all over again...

i dont wan to b hurt...

i m alrdy hurting...

But i hope everything is great...everyone is proud of u n u deserve a "Congrats!!"

jus another day...

another day passed...its de same...jus like normal weekdays when he's back in camp...but everything is different now...i m still trying...

Anw went out to meet diana and kaiwen for movie at the cathay...Fast & Furious 4!!! didt watch the first few but i find this very exciting and nice..worth watching...thou i kw i wasnt happy at all...there are many more movies i wanna watch...n for watever reason, i dun wan to stay at home...i dont wan to have nth to do...i have to be busy...to stop my thoughts from running wild, to stop my heart from beating so hard n to stop myself from falling deeper...

it has ended..i kept telling myself...i m still trying...worst when she called n cried w mi...i dun wan it..i cried my eyes out tat night...trying to find reasons to contact him..move on yanmei...i m trying...
someone told mi, i dont have to say goodbye coz i wont be able to say goodbye for he's someone i once loved so deeply...n its ok...for i had alrdy been great all this while...n rmb tat there r more beautiful things ahead waiting for mi...

so long since i am at home at this time on a sunday afternoon..its sunday!! i dun even believe it, not to say i m use to it..i m trying...dunno to be happy or sad thou...went for my new baby cousin full-month buffet this morning...so many new baby cousins suddenly..and their english names are super difficult to rmb...my cousin told mi, she wont need to ans qns in class in future coz even the teacher wont kw how to pronounce it...anw didt manage to take photos of the baby coz she didt even open her eyes at all when i m there...but she's a cute pretty little gal...

i hate sleepless night n tears...it jus dun feel good to be tired and no matt how hard u try u jus cant fall aslp, worst-crying...its reli horrible...haven been eating much as well...nth seem to taste nice to mi and i feel very uncomfortable after eating...i wonder if i had food poisoning coz i vomit out almost everything tat i hav eaten..but they told mi its my "heart" problem...
something came to mi last night when i tt of the both of us...this 2 yrs plus of relationship feels like a dream that i woven myself...i tt as long as we love each other, everything i did is worthwhile...is it? everything, everywhere and anything reminds mi of him...i did wonder, isit i did a bad job as a gf or he jus didt able to commit himself in our relationship...if he reli love mi? or he did jus for de sake of doing it? to him, isit frenz r forever n gf r watever? many many qns and many many things i feel like explaining to him...but no one can clear all my doubts and there's jus nth i can do...jia you le, yanmei...walk out of this n believe there's better tml...somehow i will be able to get thru rite? anw thanks alot of being there, my frenz...

i m falling...deeply in pain...

its hard...jus one night, n the no. of times i hold onto my phone n de thoughts of msging him appeared...i kw i cant anymore...its not de same anymore...still cant slp well last night, woke up onli to find myself in tears...i m sad, i m not strong afterall...

17 Oct 06...

Its over...

the end of our 2 & a half yrs relationship...

i m letting it go finally...thou i dun even kw if i reli can...i m still loving him deeply...but i didt kw i wasnt a good gf...since dunno when, i hav been stressing him..thou everytime i did my best to b there for him...i wanna support him thru out his commando's life, n i did...jus supported him thru-out his final outfield in taiwan..nxt wk, will b his ord parade...its sad & heartbreaking tat nw i cant attend his ord...coz i m so proud of him...he did it! n i m sure he did a very good job...all the outfields, training and road march, he completed all! there r many more things tat i haven got a chance to tell him...so many things tat i will never get the chance to say it to him anymore...yet i hope deep inside him, he knew wat i m going to say...we r going our own ways, but i will still support him whenever he needs it.. this 2 & a half yrs was wonderful...we visited almost all de attractions in singapore and even went to genting [i tt we will be able to travel again..but..=( ]...we had fun, laughter, joy as well as some silly moments too..n of coz we do hav sad and angry times...silly mi, to always tt tat it will b fine as long as we hav each other...till todae tat i realise, it onli make things worst...it reli tear mi into pieces when i learnt the truth...but i m grateful tat he let mi kw all this...i dunno if i reli did a bad job as a gf...i did try my very best and had put in all my effort...i guess tat y i cant seem to let go...now tat we r friends, i hope he feels happier..at least free-er from mi...nobody will let go to the one u love deeply...yet i hav to, coz i lost the key to his heart...tats de most hurtful part ba...u love someone so deeply yet u cant do tat anymore...

17 oct...a day tat i will rmb forever...i'll keep these beautiful memories tat u hav given mi, deep inside my heart...thanks alot for everything...i hope u did truely feels my love to u..for i reli did all my best...